www.neil.blog memo to myself. do the dumb things i gotta do. touch the puppet head.

Wasn’t I happy last week? I think I was. Saturday I woke up with what at first presented itself as a hangover (Friday was fun, but I didn’t drink that much), which by that night was still raging. I had driven to Boston for an evening at the Northeastern campus. I was still weary, my friend apparently was not. Board games ensued and briefly helped distract from my nauseous shell of a body. I couldn’t feel anything except this awful wave of disgust. Everything. Even my teeth hurt. I tried to eat; couldn’t. Nursing my bottle of Sprite, the can of God-awful Miller Lite beer long since forgotten.

I fell asleep on the Mass Pike on the way home, a lot of times. It was irresponsible of me, I should have pulled off the road and slept in my car. I make bad decisons. Sunday was a long shift at work, made slightly more bearable by 400 miligrams of Ibuprofen. Once the fever broke, I thought I was good. I felt the same on Monday, and Tuesday. I wake up every morning feeling fine, but as the day progresses I just start to feel terrible. Swollen glands, irritibility (though, isn’t that the norm at work?), loss of appetite. I just keep drinking water and OJ, and the only thing I feel like eating is trail mix.

I love dried fruit.

I’ve had two lectures this week about why I should never ever drink. Ever. Until I’m 21. My dad apparently can’t make up his mind, because at first he was saying he will not tolerate it; then he said he understands I might be experimenting with things like this. But that doesn’t make it alright. I actually feel kind of bad about it now.

This one is my favorite. I’m in it. There were originally 4 pictures in this post but I took out two.

The last two are both at night. It was dark. The camera was placed on something still and set the exposure times to 2 seconds. They came out kind of neat. They’re not phenomenal but I’d appreciate (negative) criticism.

Spring break: hiking. As soon as I get money, I’m going to buy shit. There is so much on this planet, and all I’ve seen of it is in the suburbs of Worcester.

Today was a Good Day. School was nice. I’m in that Philosophy of Something class, today was the first time I went and I don’t know what it’s about. NO IDEA. I don’t even know the course name. I went home and took a shower and put my underwear on backwards, but I was in too much of a hurry and by the time I realized it I was too late. I saw Ana!!! Paid my $105 ticket at the registry, got $100 in dollar coins from the bank, walked around Worcester, Coney Island was closed so I went to some crazy pizza place and sat at the counter by myself and looked out the window and watched cars and read On the Road and ate mushroom pizza and broccoli cheese balls. Work wasn’t terrible. Ripped off my backwards underwear and threw them away in the bathroom, because srsly it wasn’t comfy.

I’m looking forward to another great day tomorrow. With my underwear on forwards.

I’m still trying to figure out how to use my new camera, it’s kind of fun. A lot more freedom than automatic (or digital). Or whatever. There are pictures behind the cut, of my cute brothers, my weird brothers, and some dumb buildings. I promise there are no pictures of streaking headlights or anything stupid like that. Let me know if you like any? I’m trying to get better.. don’t bother looking if I talk to you a lot because you’ve probably already seen them.

I was looking for something in my closet and Saturday night’s empty bottles fell out of the bag they were stuffed in. My apologies to anyone who was subjected to my drunken rambling. I like my life.

Oh yeah, I think I am meeting this girl.. from the internet.. that lives far away. And it’s not Annie, guys, I keep telling you, we’ve already met.

i’m really tired but i can’t sleep. i forgot to eat today, i just drank a lot of coffee and grabbed a bagel on the way home from work. how can you even forget to eat. i had my first class of the semester, with Foley. we got free books so i save a lot of money.

the wallet-rapists at Meineke wanted $2500 to fix my car. the mechanic down the street wanted $900. so duh, he did it. the wallet-rapists at Midas wanted $500 to fix my emergency brake. this guy did it for $25 and requested i advise the fucks at midas to kindly shove their estimate.

the worst thing about being back to school is that i’m still working 40+ hours a week. anyone who is in college and says they can’t handle it, go fuck yourself, unless you’re working full time too. if i can get these last minute changes to my schedule finalized, i will be really happy with college and it probably won’t bother me that i’m working so much. but shut up about it.

i read the first few pages of my english lit textbook and i felt like my eyeballs were going to fall out

I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I’m borderline crying and I don’t know why. I told Addie that things weren’t going to work out. Molly helped me pick out new clothes in Harvard Square and I spent a lot of money, but it was a good day. I have a few more weeks off from school and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Last night was a lot of fun. I’m really lonely. Again. For no reason.

Wait, I figured it out. This is ridiculous. I’m not jealous. Really. I’m happy. For them.

Well, that was a good year. #1 best person I met in 2005 award goes to Crystalyn. Best friends that I didn’t see enough of: Rod and Rachel. Ex-girlfriend that I got to know better after we broke up: Shanon. Number of hours I worked: 1750 (approx). Money I saved: $86 (current account balance).

Number of cars I owned last year: 4. Number of cars I broke last year: 3. (The other one was already broken when I bought it.)

Hook ups: 5. Number I felt guilty about afterwards: 3. Number of times I begged Rachel to find me a girlfriend: 1,000. Actual girlfriends: 1. Number of times I questioned my sexuality: too many.

Money spent on expensive electronics: $2,000. Remaining balance on laptop computer: $1,000.

Vinyl records purchased: 72, plus 18 Salt n Pepa records that I got on eBay. Number of times I thought Al Bum’s was sketchy: every time.

Favorite album of the year: The City on Film’s In Formal Introduction. Favorite single: !!!’s Take Ecstasy with Me. Most vapid, vacuous musical atrocity: Black Eyed Peas’ My Humps.

Shows attented: lots. Favorite: Eels. Second favorite: Alan Jackson. Most fun socially: The Rocket Summer. Most musically depressing and making me realize I don’t like going to shows as much as I used to: Hellogoodbye.

A few things stick out as being some of the most memorable times of 2005. Bamboozle was a good time. Going to Maine with Sean and Robyn was awesome. I remember being in Maine for a wedding on the side of the road drinking (disgusting) beer and talking with my cousins, and thinking that it was a perfect moment. Smoking pot for the first time on the school ski trip. The lady at Moe’s asking why I’m always in with a different girl. Breaking my veg-edge after 3 years, at the company cookout. I remember thinking how weird it was that I rode a skateboard a few blocks from the parking lot to get to my 9-to-5 job every day, and then having old ladies yell at me to get a job. I think the Best Kiss of 2006 Award has already been given.

Thank you to everyone for a wonderful year. If you made me smile once this year, I love you, and I mean it.

Not much is new. Finished my first semester of college. Tossed around the idea of dropping out, or only taking 2 classes. Decided I’m only taking classes I like. Next semester will be photography, music theory, creative writing, and literature (english or american? help me pick). Fuck taking spanish and math. And other things I don’t like. TRACY WAS RIGHT, I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO READ.

Me and Annie had our TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY of being AIM buddies. And we’ve hung out 3 times. Once last week at Molly’s party, which was a good time.

I drink a lot of water, like a real lot, my skin is less dry but I HATE PEEING EVERY 5 MINUTES.

I’m in a bad mood, I was up until 6 this morning, and I woke up too early. Addie came over today. I’m not sure where that’s going. We’ll see.

HAHAHHAHA READ THIS
CLICK HERE

This guy BERDMAN hangs out in the Worcester Myspace group and makes fun of people by taking their pictures and writing dumb things on them that don’t usually make sense. And he went through my entire profile and edited it to say things about being gay and eating poop. THE GUY IS LIKE 30, GET OFF THE INTERNET YOU’RE OLD AND DUMB. Everyone send him a message (click here) and tell him he’s a tool.

Oh yeah, I made up that thing about Rowling getting drunk and spilling the end of Harry Potter 7. And [someone else] made up the one about Bright Eyes breaking up. Thanks for playing!