in a completely non-
 livejournal-dramatist
  attention whoring
  pseudodepressed
  ‘i’m hinting at someone’
  overemotional teenager (well maybe that)
kind of way,
i’m really lonely. seriously. what do i do about this.

pondering the monty hall problem

i will understand it for a minute, then completely lose my train of though. i am close to getting it, even with that thorough explanation

fuck, what

i haven’t had a crush on anyone in about 2 days, what am i going to do.

a certain song just made me sad, really sad, but i will be happy in a few minutes. well, not if i keep listening to cftpa. i’m really bad about associating songs with certain things or people or events. i don’t want to remember that feeling it makes me sick

fuck, what am i talking about. did i tell someone i’d hang out with them today? i can’t

mostly disinterested in being social. i think rachel said the same thing? i dont want to leave the house
bye

i watch episodes of the oc until one makes me smile at the end. today it was 4. i’m disgusting. season two isn’t bad. someone please come hold my hand

GOOD JOB FINDING MY NUMBER!!!! 😀

Today was beautiful out! I smiled a lot. I rode my bike to the library (ok, I can see it from my house) and I was out of breath. Went to class. Went for a walk down the Millbury bike path. 30 minutes of walking, then a 20 minute jog back. This is including all the times I had to stop and try not to throw up. I’m so out of shape, it’s disgusting. But it was so nice to be outside! Tomorrow it will be 70 or something, and I will go outside again. and it will be nice. fucking internet

i’m so lazy

this is going to be the first time i’m asleep before 2am in over a month, no lie.

i’m happy for now

my cell phone will be off… i don’t really like it so i’m not charging it anymore. if you need me you can call 914-861-1280, thx. i probably won’t pick up, but i’ll return your call asap

reply with fun songs to jog to! (i already have lil john and the cure so don’t say those) (ok the cure probably isn’t good jogging music)

i think i lost my camera and i’m going to cry

My first hangoutdate with Lynette quickly went bad when within 30 seconds of pulling in to the Rochdale skate park that she wanted me to see, a cop was banging on my window asking what we were doing. He didn’t believe that I was just there to look at the park (I probably wouldn’t, either) and told me I could get in big trouble if her mom didn’t know where she was. He didn’t believe me that we weren’t there to have sex or “smoke dope;” when he found a mysterious bag in the back of his cruiser containing an empty soda can and a box (contents unknown to me) he was like ARE YOU SMOKING DOPE, NEIL? IS SHE SMOKING DOPE?

Lessons learned: don’t hang out with underage girls
at 12:30am
in sketchy skate parks

but seriously, threatening me with STATUTORY RAPE
totally unnecessary

Some day I will have a normal day
and not get involved with the police in one way or another

Does anyone want to come to Brooklyn with me this week? I know it’s short notice but I forgot I wanted to go. We’d be taking the commuter rail on Wednesday morning to Boston, and then taking the Fung Wah bus to Chinatown. I don’t know how to get to Brooklyn from there but this is why I need a travel companion.. I’m scared of subways and public transportation. I’m staying at my cousins apartment, but it would be fun if I brought someone. It would only be until Friday afternoon or so. Let me know if you’re down!

Today at work I ordered pizza online. It took 2 hours to get here. I can see the place out my office window. But at least I didn’t have to put my shoes on and walk across the street. This is the 21st century, you’re not supposed to go outside. Oh, and the soda was shaken up.. and it exploded on my keyboard. Now my keys are mushy again. :(:( Thangully I was able to fix them as I was on the middle of my onlinecasinoreviewsuk.com game.

Spring break? I haven’t been to class in a while. I am going after break, though. I promise. Even though I am so happy with waking up late, shopping at Borders, Lurking at Panera and drinking coffee, and then going to work. But right. I can’t do that forever. I will get my english degree and try to be happy. I don’t know what I want out of life, but I suppose that college right now is the best step to a happy future.

I did not get wasted this weekend. I did get somewhat buzzed, played video games in a haze, and slept. It was fun. On Saturday, Nikki and I went to see Reggie. I didn’t enjoy the show, but we hung out with sweet people after (tony i love you)

NEXT ON UNSOLVED MYSTERIES: WHO USED ALL THE SHAMPOO??? And is it okay if you wash your hair with soap instead?

It sucks when you really really like someone and then you have to get over it. I forget how to do this.

ohh well. i tried, and that’s more than i can say about most of the girls i like. so at least i don’t/can’t regret anything.