www.neil.blog memo to myself. do the dumb things i gotta do. touch the puppet head.

and finally, this is me doing a shot of Jager at Brian’s grave:

Life is fantastic. I like my new bike. And the Polaroid camera I found in my mom’s room. I like not working a lot of hours and having free time. I am taking a week off and going to Chicago to see some of my favorite bands. Taking the train, I think. If anyone wants to come, let me know so I don’t have to travel alone :\

My hair is changing colors from the sun and it looks gross again.

I AM THINKING DUMB THINGS ABOUT GIRLS BUT I WILL LEAVE THOSE OUT AND KEEP THIS A HAPPY ENTRY

EDIT: DO GIRLS LIKE “FARMERS TANS” BECAUSE I AM GETTING ONE

Today Crystalyn and I went to a spa and I got my hair cut.

I wish I had ‘before’ pictures from the same angle, but it was an inch longer than the top of my shoulders.. and the bangs were down to my chin. So. This is a nice change. I’m sure my skin will appreciate it (which is NOT as clear as these pictures make it look, do not be fooled).

BEACH TOMORROW :):) i am very verrrrrry excited.

Legitimate update eventually. For now, let’s talk about how I got my first haircut in months. or years. and how awesome the beach is.

I may be losing my job as early as this Thursday. None of us are excited about it, but the level of satisfaction and progress from the job just aren’t there for anyone. I took a personal risk by taking the job (success was never guaranteed) but it was an exciting one. An intriguing venture, and certainly one more interesting than the daily grind at the [internet company]. It may not have worked out, but I feel like it opened doors for me anyhow.

Where I’ll go with college from here is undecided. As fare as Worcester State is concerned: I hate it. And one of my favorite professors died last month (RIP Prof. Walker). I’m registered for 2 classes in the fall, but I may decide to take 4. I can repeat a couple classes from last semester that I failed and try to salvage my GPA. I can only go for another two semesters, anyhow, considering the damage I did to my transcript between the mono and the subsequent depression. I’m not sure if I’ll go back to another school, but I’d like the option to be there.

This is all speculative, as it’s not certain I’ll be out of a job (but I guess it’s likely). I’m comfortable here, with the friends family and up til now, a steady job. I could probably go back to the tech support gig and fall back into my old pattern. It’s just that if I am going to get paid shit wages, it should be a job that I enjoy. And I’m too young for a shit job. I could move a little bit east.. Framingham.. Boston.. and get paid more for doing probably the same thing.

But do I want to stay in Millbury forever? It would be pointless to get an apartment in Worcester, and endure the same boring scene for more years. I need a change of scenery. Is Boston too close? NYC seems prohibitively expensive, but with the right job I think I could swing it. I don’t even know if I want to stay on the east coast. There is so much out there and right now it’s all open to me.

I could stay here forever, comfortably, but I’m not sure it’s what I want.

But there’s nothing holding me back from getting out there and seeing more of this country and planet.

Input will be appreciated, if you have any.