www.neil.blog memo to myself. do the dumb things i gotta do. touch the puppet head.

December 8, 2005

yes yes y’all

Filed under: Uncategorized — lj @ 2:48 pm

I started smoking cloves and Dreams for a few weeks, but I got sick of coughing shit up. And my car smelled. So if anyone wants a half a pack of Blacks, and/or a half a pack of Cherry Dreams, they’re all yours.

I have been kind of sad lately, I don’t feel happy doing anything. I can’t think of what I want to do with the rest of my life. I hate working, and school, I have no hobbies or real valid interests. I have no desire to find a girlfriend, I’m lazy, I can’t do anything that I’m supposed to when I’m supposed to.

I think I’m done drinking and smoking pot. I don’t want to get messed up. Everything they say about marijuana being a gateway drug is probably true. When I start researching and looking for someone who will sell me mushrooms or acid, things I never would have thought about before, I feel like all those theories are right. Maybe not for you, but for me. Not that it hasn’t been fun, but I am just afraid of what I’m going to do to myself.

I’m not saying I’m going to be edge, but I don’t want to fuck myself up. You only get one shot at this (interestingly, an argument used by both sides of the drug-use spectrum). I’m worried that my complete lack of goals, combined with an interest in drug experimentation, can’t be good for my future.

12 Comments »

  1. i know exactly what you’re talking about with the whole gateway drug. you should send me the cigarettes in a care package.

    Comment by tonyceratops — December 8, 2005 @ 9:15 pm

  2. i was thinking about it but i have no boxes

    Comment by zig_mover — December 11, 2005 @ 9:21 pm

  3. :] i wish i could give you a hug right now

    Comment by panda518 — December 8, 2005 @ 10:32 pm

  4. duh

    Comment by zig_mover — December 11, 2005 @ 9:21 pm

  5. <3 <3 <3 or <3 x 3 if you so prefer

    Comment by jeedai — December 8, 2005 @ 10:43 pm

  6. TOLD YA, NIGGA

    Comment by this_is_me_emo — December 8, 2005 @ 10:45 pm

  7. Truth

    Comment by zig_mover — December 11, 2005 @ 9:21 pm

  8. total gateway drug and its AWEESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! i saw you the other day it was awesome as well

    Comment by amish_fistfight — December 8, 2005 @ 11:09 pm

  9. it’s awesome EXCEPT for the gateway drug part

    Comment by zig_mover — December 11, 2005 @ 9:23 pm

  10. yea I did the whole drinking and smoking pot thing. Then I got addicted to Vicodan. Then I started smoking opium. Then I started smoking pot as much as possible. and drinking as much as possible… and not caring that much about life in general. Then I almost died while taking numerous Vicodans, smoking a huge bowl, and taking 4 shots of jager…all in a 6 hour span. Lets just say, I decided to stop…and start enjoying my life again. And I have, and I’ve never regretted it. and I want those blacks. and…a giant banana. kthx. xoxox

    Comment by tuneofyourdeath — December 8, 2005 @ 11:29 pm

  11. i want themmm! i dont smoke much but its nice to have them around

    Comment by twohourdrives — December 9, 2005 @ 2:29 am

  12. since i graduated from high school (about a year and half ago) i’ve heard of about 5 or 6 people that have died/gotten killed…mostly from OD-ing. just be careful. i care about my random livejournal friend.

    Comment by soulinstilettos — December 9, 2005 @ 4:48 am

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