www.neil.blog memo to myself. do the dumb things i gotta do. touch the puppet head.

I should be in bed but I just drank a bunch of cofee and now I can’t sleep.

School is okay so far. I think being a commuter takes a lot away from the whole “college experience” you see on TV. I’m trying to overcome that by doing dumb activities (like sand art) and joining groups (newspaper, radio). It will be fine. Classes aren’t that bad. English Comp II sucks. I wrote that essay to get into it, but I probably shouldn’t have. I don’t actually have any real writing skill. I mostly just BS everything I ever write. By getting exempt from Comp I, it’s like saying I have the skills I would have learned in there already. I don’t. Looks like I screwed myself over on that one. I dropped Health because it seemed lame.

Studies of Race, Nation, Gender, and Sexuality is okay. It’s kind of intense. I think it will be fun. Maybe fun isn’t the right word. Once again, proof of my poor writing skills. I can’t even think of adjectives.

Favorite class: World Literature. I really like the African stories, which is all we’ve done so far. Besides the poems, which I don’t really like. I could never get my mind around poetry. Plus, that class has my three favorite people: the mullet lady, the old lady, and Ana.

Meeting people isn’t that hard, except that I don’t remember anyone’s name. I know enough people on campus already so that at least I can always find someone to talk to. And if I can’t find anyone to talk to, there’s always Mario Kart on my laptop 🙂

Work is stressful. It shouldn’t be. We need to hire someone else. It sucks that I have to stay over an hour late to work on something, because I didn’t have time to do it. I’m working 5 days a week, ~40 hours, and I can’t balance my time out. I took today off to go see The New Trust with Sean. So good. I’m going to start taking random days off once a week so I have more time to relax and do homework.

I had FOUR fillings last week and my teeth now KILL. I have to take Aleve every night before I go to sleep or else my mouth throbs. Fuckin dentists.

I think I might like someone :/ Okay two people, but one of them I’ve liked for 3 years soo I don’t count that. I’m fucking stupid. I obviously can’t be in a relationship right now. I guess if I updated more, these entries wouldn’t be so long.

I lost $1,000 in financial aid, because I initally said I was living on campus, but now I’m not. I also lost my federally subsidized loan, which means now I have to pay interest, or something. This is a major setback, because I took out another loan to pay for school + a down payment on a car. Now I don’t have anything left for a car. Basically, this sucks because I will be paying off college loans until I’m about 90.

I start class tomorrow, I’m not really nervous, except I’m worried because as usual, I ate an entire pack of Trident today and my tummy hurts. Wish me luck with my first day back, plz.

I got drunk last night and had a long discussion with someone about something that has been bothering me a lot lately, but I didn’t know how to talk about it. I went out with a lot of girls this summer. Nothing really serious, just a lot of dinner dates and hangouts and going to shows and such. Mostly really beautiful girls, because srsly do I hang out with uglies? No. But I’m not even sexually attracted to anyone. When I look at girls, I think things like hey, that girl’s cute and looks like we’d get along, I’d like to get to know her and maybe we can be friends. Popular male consensus shows that I should thinking things more along the lines of damn check out those tits, and nice ass, yo I’d hit that. I look at a girl and check out how many freckles she has.

I don’t think I’m gay, because I don’t really see myself with another guy. I guess this rules me out from being bi, because I’m not really sexually attracted to either sex. Pretty much this sucks because I don’t even enjoy masturbation.

Okay, that was sufficiently awkward. Laurenface gave me her old phone, so now I have one again. 774.276.0679. I’m not working tomorrow after school, so if you want to hang out in the afternoon, holla. Blowjobs greatly appreciated so hopefully we can sort this dilemma out.

First day of orientation yesterday. Totally boring. Met some nice people. Made it totally worth it.

Highlights included questions such as “is a parking pass the same as a parking permit?” and “how does the wireless internet work? does it like, work for AOL?” Oh well. I’m looking forward to a good year.

After reading the same Onion article 3 times and laughing every time, I realized that I need to find someone with the same sense of humor as me so we can laugh about this dumb shit. I feel dumb sending links to people with things that I find hillarious but nobody else does. The best thing I did all day was read an editorial written by a goat. Five times.

Today I was going to leave work at 2 and go to the second day of orientation, but I was so busy, I couldn’t. We have all these huge clients now, companies with hundreds of stores in malls all accross the country, and there are a lot of issues.. and I am getting really stressed, trying to take care of everything, and trying to help coworkers and get their issues sorted as well. I think Adam’s training is going well, which is a big help because we were (and still are) understaffed. I guess I could have left early like I had planned, but since Friday is my day off, my workload on Monday would have been huge (I work alone on the weekends, so all I can do is answer calls, not work on existing issues). One thing that relieved some stress was that my boss said he knows I’ve been working hard and I’ll see some positive reflection in January’s pay raise. That makes me happy (the recognition of a job well done, not the money). After work I skated to Coney Island, and my mom was outside waiting for my brother to finish his piano lesson.. so we got hot dogs. I love my mom.

Tomorrow is day 3 of orientation, I have to be up early so I should probably go to bed. Don’t think I’m doing anything tomorrow night..

Oh yeah. And BEFORE the obligatory “end-of-summer recap” entry, let me just say that I feel the entire summer would have been a waste if I hadn’t met Crystalyn and her awesome friends (Josh and Anna, that’s you guys).