www.neil.blog memo to myself. do the dumb things i gotta do. touch the puppet head.

I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I’m borderline crying and I don’t know why. I told Addie that things weren’t going to work out. Molly helped me pick out new clothes in Harvard Square and I spent a lot of money, but it was a good day. I have a few more weeks off from school and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Last night was a lot of fun. I’m really lonely. Again. For no reason.

Wait, I figured it out. This is ridiculous. I’m not jealous. Really. I’m happy. For them.

Well, that was a good year. #1 best person I met in 2005 award goes to Crystalyn. Best friends that I didn’t see enough of: Rod and Rachel. Ex-girlfriend that I got to know better after we broke up: Shanon. Number of hours I worked: 1750 (approx). Money I saved: $86 (current account balance).

Number of cars I owned last year: 4. Number of cars I broke last year: 3. (The other one was already broken when I bought it.)

Hook ups: 5. Number I felt guilty about afterwards: 3. Number of times I begged Rachel to find me a girlfriend: 1,000. Actual girlfriends: 1. Number of times I questioned my sexuality: too many.

Money spent on expensive electronics: $2,000. Remaining balance on laptop computer: $1,000.

Vinyl records purchased: 72, plus 18 Salt n Pepa records that I got on eBay. Number of times I thought Al Bum’s was sketchy: every time.

Favorite album of the year: The City on Film’s In Formal Introduction. Favorite single: !!!’s Take Ecstasy with Me. Most vapid, vacuous musical atrocity: Black Eyed Peas’ My Humps.

Shows attented: lots. Favorite: Eels. Second favorite: Alan Jackson. Most fun socially: The Rocket Summer. Most musically depressing and making me realize I don’t like going to shows as much as I used to: Hellogoodbye.

A few things stick out as being some of the most memorable times of 2005. Bamboozle was a good time. Going to Maine with Sean and Robyn was awesome. I remember being in Maine for a wedding on the side of the road drinking (disgusting) beer and talking with my cousins, and thinking that it was a perfect moment. Smoking pot for the first time on the school ski trip. The lady at Moe’s asking why I’m always in with a different girl. Breaking my veg-edge after 3 years, at the company cookout. I remember thinking how weird it was that I rode a skateboard a few blocks from the parking lot to get to my 9-to-5 job every day, and then having old ladies yell at me to get a job. I think the Best Kiss of 2006 Award has already been given.

Thank you to everyone for a wonderful year. If you made me smile once this year, I love you, and I mean it.