www.neil.blog memo to myself. do the dumb things i gotta do. touch the puppet head.

March 1, 2006

college

Filed under: Uncategorized — lj @ 3:19 am

Today I woke up and decided I didn’t want to go to school. I got coffee and a croissant and drove to the Worcester library. It was too cold to get out of the car; plus the chairs that they have in that library are really uncomfortable and uninviting. I turned the engine off, put on this jazz and read for about 3 hours. I finished On the Road. Every half hour or so, my car thinks it’s doing me a favor by shutting off the accessory power, which disengages the tape deck and startled me every time.

I was parked in the sun. The wind was howling and rocking my car and every car in the lot. I was waiting for the flag to get ripped off the pole. The trains went by, everyone went by, and it was weird to just be sitting there.

Today was one of the best days in a long time. I did something that makes me happy- namely, nothing. I sat down and read a book and didn’t think about anything for three hours except Dean and Sal.

I think I want to quit college. Well, I know I want to quit college, but I think I’m serious about it. I don’t know why I’m there. I want to work 9-5 and have a small apartment and a cat and a record player and a lot of books and a refrigerator full of orange sherbet. I could have all of this right now. Why am I wasting my time and money working towards a goal that isn’t even really there? I’d be lying to myself if I said I thought I had a future doing anything that I’m studying.

Do you think we’ve all just been pressured to believe that we need to go to college to be happy in life? How important is it, really, to get a degree? The sooner I figure this out, the better, because it’s an expensive thing to be in doubt about.

27 Comments »

  1. i think it all really depends on who you are. like you have this job for a couple years and it seems secure, yes? so i mean you could be comfortable not getting a degree and working but for myself, personally, if i didn’t go to college…what the fuck would i do? college gives me something to do and work for instead of working at some dead-end job. but if i had the oppurtunity, i probably wouldn’t go to college. i hate it a lot sometimes.

    Comment by infinityxcubed — March 1, 2006 @ 12:27 pm

  2. Of course we are pressured. School has never been my thing, but with the constant pressure since…oh sixth grade, it didn’t seem like it matter’d what I thought. I graduated high school 3 months after everyone, attended college a week later, failed. Got my ass chewed by school and my financial aid taken away and was forced to go part time after writing a letter of apology to the school. Next semester, I withdrew becuase my teachers weren’t very leniant in the fact that I was caring for a dying family member and attending school. Summer went, fall came, didn’t go to school. All in all I’ve been out of school for 6 semesters, attended for 5, wasted thousands of dollars and I’m in my third successful semester. It’s a waste of life and everyone says you need to. I hate it. Then I ask a school counselor what I need to transfer to RIT rather than a SUNY school and they tell me to shove it up my ass, they only deal with SUNY schools. This was a lame comment. But I think college is bullshit. But the only way to survive without it is getting your foot in somewhere decent. I understand that there wasn’t as much emphasis on college when my mom was younger, but she’s been working at the post office for 20 years and they pay buttloads. But now you have to know someone in order to get in.

    Comment by shawnafucking — March 1, 2006 @ 2:14 pm

  3. i really really really hate college. unfortunately, i have no other choice. and because they’re paying for everything i think it’d be selfish if i didn’t go and take the oppurtunity. however, it is kind of essential to go if you want to make money later, if not, then whatever. then again, you’re already good at something and make a lot of money from it. maybe later, after you’re content, you could take a two year prog at quinsig or something. blegh, everything!

    Comment by blownfuses — March 1, 2006 @ 3:11 pm

  4. If you ever decide later on (after not going to college) that there is in fact a perfect job for you that would make you insanely happy doing the work and would provide you with the money to live your life how you want to, you might not be able to get that job without a degree. There are plenty of jobs out there if you don’t have a degree, but just having one (in anything) often means you get paid more. You could always do an associates degree or something at a community college just to have something (and you’ve already done a year of school so you’re half way there) and then in the future if you want to contiue with you’re studies, you’ve got a lot of gen ed and some electives out of the way and can just speed through the required course work for your chosen degree. But then again who knows, Scott is bummed cause he hasn’t started school yet and I can’t get a job with my degree (at least here in sw michigan). But we do want to start a business, a lan gaming place. you should move out here and help us haha

    Comment by devmo — March 1, 2006 @ 3:59 pm

  5. There are some people that NEED to go to college in order to persue their career choice. My sister for example, wants to be a lawyer. Of COURSE she has to got to college for a bazillion years. On the other hand…I thought I wanted to be a toddler teacher. Myself, and a few other people got certified in high school. It was a lot of hard work, but we did it. Most people go to college and THEN get certified….and even with my certification, I was only going to be making 6.75 an hour…I could make more than that at fucking McDonalds. The point is…we’re all raised and conditioned to think that when you get out of high school, you go to college, or you’ll be a bum and a drug addict. My aunt didn’t go to college and she is co-president of the company that she originally worked for as a part-time secretary. If you have determination, you can do whatever you want…WITHOUT college. Not saying in some situations it makes things easier, but I want to be a cosmetologist…I have to go to SCHOOL for that, yes…but not college. I want to work 9-5 and have a small apartment and a cat and a record player and a lot of books and a refrigerator full of orange sherbet. Thats exactly what I want and what I’ve always wanted. I wanted a comfortable job, a cat, and a little apartment where I can be crafty and listen to music and write. Thats my life goal. Just to have a place of my own. I’ve always told you to follow your heart. I’ve gone through a lot of crap so far because of my parents not agreeing with me choices for my future. But they accept now that I’m just not like other people. College would kill me from the inside out. It may take me a little longer than other people to get to where they are…but who’s to say that I even WANT to be where they are? I just want a hole in the wall apartment with a cat and a bed. Do what your heart tells you. You’ll be a lot happier, I promise.

    Comment by whiskywaterkiss — March 1, 2006 @ 5:28 pm

  6. you are feeling the same way i am about school right now! im glad i stumbled upon this entry because i was feeling a bit on my own when i came to the realization that i’m just not fit for school right now, or maybe this type of school. i’m dropping the semester today. I havent been to class in about a week and a half. . . . there’s no way i can catch up now. . . well, good luck to you dear! and you dont need a damn DEGREE. . . It would give you a little bit of authority and a better chance with a “career” but hell, who needs a career. . .just get a job and focus on your hobbies. . . everything will fall into place <3 peace. . . .

    Comment by ashalash — March 1, 2006 @ 5:53 pm

  7. good luck ash! i’m thinking about taking the next semester off, i think you can do that and just come back eventually. i need to figure out what my priorities are and what i want my future to be like. also, i missed two weeks of class and it wasn’t hard to catch up. i was sick, so i had an excuse, but it wasn’t really that hard. any idea what you want to do with your life? that’s the question everyone keeps throwing at me.

    Comment by zig_mover — March 2, 2006 @ 7:37 am

  8. i dont know anything but i think you should just concentrate on being happy <3

    Comment by off_stage — March 1, 2006 @ 6:50 pm

  9. i wish everyone could, or would i feel like i’m cheating myself sometimes. i hope you can be the happiest person someday, soon

    Comment by zig_mover — March 2, 2006 @ 7:39 am

  10. Get All A Same >:O 12 Grade NOW

    Comment by this_is_me_emo — March 1, 2006 @ 8:24 pm

  11. DONT MAKE FUN OF JANE SHE IS SOMETHING

    Comment by zig_mover — March 2, 2006 @ 5:42 am

  12. In general, most persons have lifetime earnings that are highly correlated with their marketable skills or “skill set.” The proxy for skill set is high school diploma or GED plus number of years of college education. With only HS/GED, the job opportunities and wages are relatively low. Think, minimum wage. With HS/GED plus 1 year of college, the job opportunuties s and wages are increased. and so on, with 2 years and 4 years of college, then with master’s degree, professional degree, and PhD degree. What you do now will have lifelong implications that may not be as easy to change many years later in life. There is no one right choice that works for everyone, but everyone benefits if they make an informed choice about such major decisions. Artists and more creative persons may be different from others on this issue. One can be more of a free spirit and get by like the characters in On the Road.

    Comment by numb3r5 — March 1, 2006 @ 10:07 pm

  13. First of all, I only read what crystalyn wrote. I’m assuming everyone else wrote about how they’re either in the same boat as you are, or about people or certain things they know… but yeah whatever.. this is what I have to say. Neil, you are an unbelievably bright young man. If ou are uncertain about your future, do not waste your money, and do not support what the world around you has falsely guided you to believe to be the next step in your life. Your main concern, like Crystalyn said, should be happiness. If you think that through your pursuit for some kind of economic gain(college), you will find this happiness, you are wrong. You will be a miserable miserable person. College is for those who understand what they want and what the heck college is really all about, you understand whats going on, but you’re deciding not to feed into it… Which I find very admirable. I took a year off to figure out what it is I wanted, and now I’m back… with ambition and a set goal. So, even though I still hate college, I know why I’m doing it, and to me… it is very worth it. I really think that you should read this essay, it’s by a man who wrote the book that changed my life. It may seem long, but it will only take about 10-15 minutes to read. This goes for all of you in Neil’s livejournal-land. http://ishmael.com/Education/Writings/unschooling.shtml I also fully support you and I hanging out more… in a completely non-livejournal-esque meaningless comment kind of way. Because quite frankly, I enjoy your company.

    Comment by anonymous — March 1, 2006 @ 11:37 pm

  14. The bottom line is that if you are going to live your life working a career that doesnt require college, then you dont really need to go. But that’s the hard part, finding a job you’d be comfortable doing for a long long time. And you’ve got to have a little luck, knowing someone that works there or just striking it at the right time. Because if you and someone with that piece of paper that says “degree” on it are both applying for the same job, they are going to pick the other guy. And in most jobs the fact that you have a degree period gives you a significant pay increase, regardless if it has anything to do with the job you are holding. I guess the advice I would give you is to not rush to a decision just yet since it is a rather large life decision and it should be given a considerable amount of thought. Id say at the very least get a 2 year degree from QCC or something.

    Comment by ihearttoast — March 2, 2006 @ 12:21 am

  15. If you have no career in mind and really dont want to go to college then you are wasting time and money.

    Comment by anonymous — March 2, 2006 @ 2:37 am

  16. neil you should quit college and keep all the money you’d be using on it i wish i made that deal with my parents that’s so much money

    Comment by unodostracy — March 2, 2006 @ 5:15 am

  17. my parents also made me a deal when i turned 18- i could live in their house when i was going to college, as long as i completely understood that i was paying for it myself. this idea will not work!!

    Comment by zig_mover — March 2, 2006 @ 5:27 am

  18. SHUT UP AND SUCK IT i liked your day today though

    Comment by unodostracy — March 2, 2006 @ 5:28 am

  19. it was my yesterday and everyone else’s today was less interesting. i could probably write an entry about it but it would make everyone on my flist hate me for rambling 🙁

    Comment by zig_mover — March 2, 2006 @ 5:44 am

  20. I always tell people that I don’t want to go to college and just work a full-time job or be a photographer in a city and live in an apartment but everyone just looks down upon it for some reason. As long as I’m happy with my life outside of work I wouldn’t mind having a crappy job. Go for what makes you happy 🙂

    Comment by bloodyxroses — March 2, 2006 @ 9:12 pm

  21. if i had the opportunity to photograph bands and do graphics for artists for the rest of my life and be financially secure, i’d do it. fuck that, if i had the opportunity to be a groupie professionally, i’d quit school and do it. for now, what i’m doing is making my life feel full, successful and worthwhile. my kerouac poster freaks my roommate out – it stares at her in bed: “the only people for me are the mad ones…”

    Comment by soulinstilettos — March 5, 2006 @ 6:38 am

  22. neil you can’t have all of that now. haha! go out and try to find a decent 9-5 job that doesn’t pay minimum wage without some sort of college education with which you can afford an apartment and a car and kitty litter and orange sherbet and maybe extra money to go to tsams and drink every friday. you back yet? ok what you find? probably nothing, at least around here, where i know you want to stay. unless you find something that pays a lot more money in tech support, with which you have experience. i know you don’t wanna do that. i know you like doing nothing just as much as i do. i know we’re different; i have aiden whom i’m partly responsible for, and erika (who doesn’t fuck around when it comes to school and she does inspire me to work at it) and i want to give them comfortable lives because i am in the perfect position to do that. i really don’t want to end up like erika’s mom and every time i look at her i keep thinking how i want to have a life. i want a huge house, with a nice car and a stainless steel fridge full of fine imported beer for rod, and money to throw at my hobbies. not just for me and aiden and erika but for my friends to enjoy. and i wanna do that by getting paid with computer science. i mean i know the american dream is not for everyone, but once you get a degree you wont have to worry about next time rent is due and you can do whatever the fuck you want.

    Comment by coheed — March 6, 2006 @ 10:39 pm

  23. thank you for this comment

    Comment by zig_mover — March 8, 2006 @ 11:06 pm

  24. hehek

    Comment by coheed — March 9, 2006 @ 12:36 pm

  25. do you like the new icon, at least

    Comment by zig_mover — March 10, 2006 @ 12:03 am

  26. yes! turn off the engine ppl! save the environment! go u! school sucks. i wish i had a car and could skip. oh well u made me feel so good about u n ur turning off ur engine while waiting in a parking lot, that i think ill be ok with not skipping 4 @ least a few days.

    Comment by sycogreenbanshe — March 6, 2006 @ 10:49 pm

  27. for fuck’s sake, did you miss the entire point of this post? shut up.

    Comment by zig_mover — March 8, 2006 @ 10:58 pm

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