www.neil.blog memo to myself. do the dumb things i gotta do. touch the puppet head.

The antenna on my cell phone snapped off. I’m trying to glue it back on. I went to the Outback with Lauren, Sarai, and Adam tonight. Things with Kayleen are going swimmingly. I feel like shit right now, my insides and throat and teeth and head hurt. I was trying to write an essay but gave up because I’m shaking for some reason. Not going to school tomorrow, probably. I can’t really blow off work because I’m taking off three days (18 hours) to go on a snowboarding trip with the ski club. I forget where it’s to, somewhere.. I can’t even take a guess at it. I hope I feel better by then. Jolene is more sick than I am, so I can’t really complain.

Some crazy customer put this spyware online and got people at my work to go to the site, and he harvested their AIM screen names. He has a list online of all our names, positions, and AIM names. He didn’t get mine, fortunately. It’s bad enough I have to talk to them on the phone.

Sorry, I have no insight into anything. I turned eightteen the other day and now buy scratch tickets a lot. My friends made it wonderful. Nikki gave me jelly beans. I hope her grandfather is okay. Kayleen gave me blueberry soda.

Last night we went ice skating. Tara S called me randomly, so she came, and it was awesome. I can not skate. She isn’t any better. Adam and Lauren are good 🙁

Tonight, we went to Newbury Comics with Kirsten, and I bought Bright Eyes’ I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning. I’m halfway through the first side of the record and I love it. Bought a couple 7″s too. Then we went to Moes (third time this week), and stayed there for three hours, until they closed. Then I came home because I needed sleep.

Hannah and Robby were driving past Moes, and apparently Robby thought he saw Kayleen inside, but it was really me. OUCH.

The cashier at Moes said to me, “i see you in here with a different girl every night, what’s with that?” I was like, well the ladies love Moes, and me.

She was like, are any of them your girlfriend? I said nope, not either of these two, but one of them is. I actually met her here!

That’s not 100% true, I actually met my girlfriend on Myspace. We just met at Moes. You know the story.

The past however has been awesome. Snowboarding, friends, went to Erika’s new place for the first time since she moved in. I missed everyone over there, so I had fun just hanging out. Met a bunch of Kayleen’s friends, heard about this crazy homeless man that drank gravy and almost died laughing. I spent the day with Kayleen, aww Valentines Day. We saw a movie, lopsided cars, she gave me robot drawings, which I love. Met Adam and Lauren for dinner at Moe’s, which is always wonderful. I like her a lot. Stayed up all night making her a mix tape, and I think she liked it 🙂

One week until vacation. I think that one day during it, probably Thursday, I’m just going to drive as far as I can, just to see how far I can go. Then sleep wherever, and then drive back. I think it will be fun, and if anyone wants to come along and bring their iPod or mix tapes or whatever, you’re more than welcome. I also turn eighteen next Tuesday, which will be nothing except that I can buy scratch tickets legally and stuff.

I asked Kayleen out tonight.. she said yes. I didn’t plan it, at all, so don’t get all up ons for doing it on Valentines Day. But I suppose it doesn’t really matter <3

Okay, the snow wasn’t really this deep. But I left my minivan parked in the parking lot next to my house, and it got plowed in. It’s not like I drive it, it’s dead. But I still have a license plate on there I need to take off and put on my new car, and there’s also a full tank of gas in there I need to siphon out. Mm, that should be fun.

Tomorrow is going to be fun. They already cancelled school. I’m waking up early to go over Kayleen’s, I haven’t seen her in a week, gosh! Then I don’t know what’s going on, Lauren said something about going to hang out with her. So yeah.

I also just watched American History X and that movie is fucking intense. I knew it was going to be good at the begining, in the scene where the white kids win over the basketball court. I found myself feeling happy, like someone actually won something, and the bad guys have to walk home in shame. Almost ashamed at feeling like the good guys won, and feeling sympathetic towards their cause. I can see where it’s easy to fall into a trap like that. If you know what I’m talking about.

I’m awesome, thanks for asking. I’m happy. I’m not nervous about what is coming next. I’m trying to relax. If I don’t get into a college I want, who cares? You’re only alive for so long and then you’re dead. Why be sad about anything? Such a waste of time.

Tomorrow, snowboarding, something I’ve been looking forward to since last year.

I thought I was going to get fired yesterday, some drama in the workplace. My job is safe, though. Hard to imagine I’ve been there two years already. I started there when I was fifteen. That comes out to about 2,288 hours of my life. If I had been saving my money, like I should, I’d have at least $14,000, taking in to account how much shit I buy.

I need to eat out less, maybe. I won’t. We have a 3-day weekend coming up, but some people are saying it will be longer. Whatever, I’m hanging out with Kayleen :). And maybe going to Annieface’s party. The end. Bitches get stitches.

less.than.the.positive.square.root.of.nine

EDIT five minutes later: I feel really sad right now. I’m trying to think of funny things, but all I can think of is ZomboCom, which is funny but then I go back to being sad. I need sleep.

i met a girl!

+she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

that alone should pique your interest.

i went sledding yesterday. watched garden state again. i might not graduate unless i can bring my algebra grade up. fuck math.

my phone rang three or four times while i was at moe’s, and i felt like such a cell-phone whore.

Rachel gave me this robot keychain as part of my Christmas present, and I laughed so hard. She also gave me a Transformer called Insectacon, which was the only english word on the box, if you even count that as english. It’s pretty burly. I love robots, so hard.

Earlier this week, my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. What do I even need? Or want? I told her I wanted some photo paper for my printer so I could print pictures. She was like.. what else? Nothing. Just a package of this stupid paper that probably costs about $4. I mean, I work, if I wanted something else I’d buy it myself. Getting gifts from my friends is one thing, because they actually mean something, but I don’t want my parents to feel obligated to get me stuff I don’t need. I can honestly say I will be content if tomorrow we go to do the whole “presents under the tree” ritual and all I get is this dumb paper. But really, I won’t get it at all, or she’ll get the wrong kind and I’ll have to pretend to like it. Whatever.

I’m going to bed. Text me if you’re bored! 774.276.0679.kthx. Happy Christmas, anyhow. And the best thing about Christmas being over is that people will stop saying “christmahanakakwanzakah.” It really makes no sense.

Apparently my beloved minivan would cost about $1200 to fix. Considering I only paid $900 for it.. I’m just gonna junk it, or give it away or something.

So my grandmother is sick, cancer, but I think they got rid of that, but she won’t take her pills right so she can’t really drive. Anyhow she gave me her car. It’s a ’94 Ford Escort, two door. 73,000 miles or so. It’s such an old-lady car, complete with the rosary hanging from the rearview, and the cross sticker on the window. And Beanie Baby on the dash. She only drove about 3 miles at a time: to church and back. I’m afraid of driving it really because it’s so used to that, I guess. I don’t know anything about cars.

Also, Glenn and his stupid friends were being idiots last night and having a shaving cream fight of some sort. He’s such a liar that I’m not really sure what happened. He uses semantics and doublespeak to get around EVERYTHING you could pin on him. “I didn’t spray any..” No, he squirted it onto a ball or something, and threw it. Anyhow, in the midst of the shaving cream battle, someone ran into my computer and now the hard drive is messed up and I can’t use the computer. I’m really pissed about having to retype the first four pages of my term paper.

Instead of typing all this, I could have just written “i got a new car, and my computer broke” but this is so much more fun.

This is why public school is so ridiculous. I’m in my internship thing in the computer room, and everyone in here is watching Shrek 2 on the projector screen. And I’m reading this book trying to tune it out. Everyone in my english class was saying how they hated it, so I figured I’d finally get around to reading it. Who has read it, and what do you think (without giving anything away about it please!)

My van is “in the shop” right now. I would be driving it and all the lights would start to fade.. and then after a while there would be no lights at all, the radio wouldn’t work, and my directionals wouldn’t light up. Kind of scary.. I pulled into Kirsten’s driveway and it wouldn’t start again. I had to call my dad and have him help me jump-start it. He said it could be the battery.. but he doesn’t really know anything about cars.

I am going to see what the Dodge dealership wants to do.. I am thinking about seeing if they’ll give me any trade-in value for it and just buying a new(er) vehicle. It sucks that this one is dying so fast, but it’s a ’93 and they don’t really build these things to last I guess. I’d rather have a $150-a-month car payment than a shitty $900 car that I have to get repaired every month. Even if I have to give up going out a few times a month, I think it’d be worth it. I have enough to do without worrying about cars. My mom broke her arm and can’t drive, so I can use hers for the time being. But I already feel 100% less independent, having to ask to use her car.

In other news, I was listening to Dillinger and my brother’s friend said “what is this? like hardcore emo?”